Learn-to-AdjustFew weeks back I met one of my old school mates in a marriage after a long time. Our families got introduced to each other. On my invitation he came to my house for an evening tea. During the course of our discussion, he talked about his son whose marriage is getting delayed for reasons unknown to him. Being employed in a famous matrimonial company, I volunteered to discuss the issue with his son, to assist his early marriage.

Next time, when I went to his house with my wife I met his son and got introduced to him. After some time our topic of discussion zeroed on his marriage. Though, he was reluctant to discuss it in the beginning, ultimately he opened up for a free discussion.

He said he was looking for a perfect match, who will have beauty, education, same wavelength of thinking, intelligence and above all a passion to care for him. He added, that he had seen around 10 prospective alliances and no one could ever come close to his expectations.

His answer really saddened me, because, I know the hard truth that he will never get married any time, unless someone explains to him the hard realities of life. I remembered his age as thirty and looked at him again. For thirty years of age, he looked little over weight, his hairline was thinning and receding at the top, his puffy cheeks conveyed his regular participation in the week end office parties and the black lines below his eyes revealed his stressed type of work.

It is a sad fact that an increasing number of eligible grooms develop such an illusion about their would be wife and waste their time in trying to find her. In the process, they loose their precious marriageable years. They must realize that no one had ever found a life partner matching 100% of their expectations. They completely forget the fact that in real life, the girl whom he fancy as his perfect partner may also have her own ideas and may even refuse to marry him. At one stage, such young men may find difficult to get even normal matches and repent.

I had advised my friend’s son to understand the realities of life and explained to him how it will be difficult for him to find a partner who matches 100% of his expectations. In order to make my advice simple and comprehensible I had cited his own father’s life as an example. His father in spite of being a gold medalist in B.Tech. degree from a most renowned institution had only married a school finalist and not so beautiful lady from a middle class family as his wife, yet, he has succeeded in his life reaching the zenith of his career.

I further explained to him that a married life will become more thrilling only when the partners learn to adjust with the inadequacies of the other, and start appreciating the best qualities in him/her. Though , he did not readily agreed to my suggestions, I know pretty well he will start dwell over it and change his ideas about his would be wife.