On the other day a Professor from Chennai, employed in a leading American University, came to Kalyanamalai office with his wife. After registering his daughters profile, he initiated a discussion about the relevancy of arranged marriages in the current context. He wanted to know about the trend in the wake the changing preferences of younger generation. This blog is the result of the lively discussion I had with the couple.
Though there is a perceived trend about the love marriages, arranged marriages continue to play a leading role in India. The growing number of matrimonial web sites and the ever growing number of marriage seekers registering in such web sites, is a clear proof to show, the younger generation continue to prefer arranged marriages.
Parents favor arranged marriages
It is a fact that parents play a crucial role in fixing the marriage of their son or daughter. They go beyond the good looks of a would be bride or groom and consider other relevant aspects such as education and family background in arranging the marriage. Also, a growing number of parents who underwent love marriage, crossing caste and religion barriers, prefer their son or daughter to undergo an arranged marriage. Most of them do not want their son or daughter to go through the initial struggles and rejection they experienced in establishing the family.
Time Paucity and Consciousness of self identity
Except a miniscule minority, most of the younger generation, especially those in urban background, suffer from lack of quality time, to consider a serious love relationship that can lead to marriage. Also, increasing number of break in love relationship within their own office and between their own colleagues confuses them on such relationships. A number of them feel insecure to enter into a love relationship that can lead to marriage.
It is a fact that well qualified and highly placed men are women consider love marriage with their own colleagues a hindrance. They fear the concern about their own self identity or ego will play a spoilsport in the smooth going of their married life.
Arranged Marriages are not a stigma
Matured younger generation is uneasy about superfluous dating that serves no purpose. They are aware of the changing face of arranged marriages in India. Parents are more careful and do not force their marriage whims on their daughter or son. While, they value the traditions, they don’t hesitate to go beyond it, to assist their son or daughter to have to private face-to-face meeting with the would be life partner, before finalizing the marriage. Such an arrangement, while allowing their son or daughter to have a better understanding about their life partner, also provides the parents a sense of belonging in the marriage arrangements.
There is a change in the view of parents and they prefer to listen to their son or daughter before fixing the marriage. Such an understanding enables a son or daughter to discuss their would be partner preferences without inhibition before accepting the marriage proposal. The changed outlook presents a healthy sign in the acceptance of arranged marriages.