LearnLoveThe couple Lakshmanan and Indira was known to me for several years. I have seen their only daughter Rajini, growing up with all the charms bundled with intelligence. The couple, though highly placed in the society, has brought up Rajini as a lovable girl, without pampering her ego. After completing her MBA finance from a leading educational institution, she joined the top level managerial position in a much respected MNC.

Her parents, who always respected her thought process heartily accepted her love with a Bengali boy her decision to get married to him. But, they cautioned her against making any hasty progress and making her love public. Though Rajini was very much in love with the boy, her parents cautioning words and her intelligence helped her to make her progress step by step. She avoided both secluded and public meetings with the boy. Her cautious approach did not amuse the boy much or matched his boisterous advances. When Rajini conveyed him the willingness and consent of her parents to perform the marriage with the blessings of his parents, he did not react to the idea positively. Instead, he tried to convince Rajini to continue their love for at least two years, before taking a final decision on marriage. He added, that the two-year period will allow them to understand each other and take an appropriate decision on the marriage then.

Rajini did not like the idea of postponing the marriage for two years and was not convinced by his arguments. Rajini was in deep love with the boy and was certainly baffled about the suggestion. She became worried about continuing the love affair for two years and wait for an uncertain outcome.  Her persuasions did not convince the boy and at one stage he avoided talking with her and even got a transfer to another city without her knowledge. The sudden developments sank the spirits of Rajini, made her feel depressed and reclusive even from her parents.

But her intelligence and the support received from her parents helped her to shake off her past love to live a full life. Unlike a good number of men and women who silently suffer from the trauma of love failure and its impacts in their personal relationship within the family and the productivity at the work place, she was able to overcome her trauma by taking the following positive steps.

Taking time for the healing process

Her supportive parents helped her and encouraged her decision to take long leave from the office to recover from the trauma. They allowed her to have total privacy to sort out the details all by herself. She was able to reconcile and understand that a single bad event in her life should not rob her whole life and keep her traumatized lifelong.

Do Self introspection

She underwent a kind of self introspection to understand her conduct and desires. She clearly understood that she can shake off her guilt only by self forgiving and she did just that. She did not deny the truth that she was the prime instrument for her sufferings and she and she alone should work to overcome it by self forgiving. Her strong mental attitude enabled her to defy the trauma and the act of staying with constant fear. Her mind became clear and she was able to get over her guilty feeling.

Improve the interactions

Rajini did not take much time to shake off her mental self and become normal. Her increased interactions with the colleagues in the office and participation in the office work enabled her to gain the normalcy soon. Her mental grit enabled her to manage the probing looks in the office with ease and establish interactions.

Shun the past from dictating on the future

It is a fact that most of those who suffered a love failure will be haunted by the past. The weak mental attitude to shun the past and stopping its impact on the future is always a tough task to overcome. Rajini groomed herself mentally and developed an attitude to stay clear of her troubled past and never allowed it to loom over her bright future. Her approach and the advice she received from psychiatrists helped her to surmount the problem of her past eating over her future.

Living again with a new love

Her mental grit to live and lead a normal live helped her to overcome her love failure. She did not allow the depression of love failure to get into her, thrive and grow into her. She was able to listen to her parents to get married and love the person she married.