My neighbor’s son got married recently. I went to the marriage and found the couple a refreshing pair. After a few months, I met my neighbor in the market and casually enquired him about the newly weds. As if waiting for a chance to open up his mind, he said ‘I found something seriously wrong with them, but, I am not able to find out what it is’. He added ‘my son often becomes moody and not seen in his jovial self, at times I could hear the couple talking in raised voice in the room.’ He looked confused and not very happy. Such a thing can happen in any family if the newly weds don’t learn the trick to settle in their married life quickly.
Recognizes the changes needed
It is essential for the newly weds to understand they are going to start a new relationship, where they personality and priorities need to undergo little changes, before getting fine tuned to the new life. They must quickly recognize the changes they need to make to accommodate their partner with open arms. Such an action will certainly take the relationship after marriage to the next level.
Perform a self-analysis
Try to do a self-analysis on how much you kept yourself organized in keeping your personal belongings. Such analysis should include how organized you are in keep your clothes at home, maintaining your personal papers, how prompt you are in making payments and how much punctual you are in attending the office or other family functions. If you are lethargic and always depend on someone to stay organized, then you must change for good.
Learn to prioritize your married life
If you are someone who would love to go out and spend more time with your friends, then you must change. After the marriage a wife or husband will get priority over your friends in sharing your time. Start changing your free for all life style in to a more organized one. The suggestion applies to both boys and girls.
Learn to adjust to the acquired family
No two families will ever follow the same pattern, ways and moods in living even though they follow the same customs and traditions. Learn to adjust to the livings of your newly acquired family. Try to respect the family practices and never aim to compare them with your own family. Try to find a middle path that will not hurt the acquired family, but will also give you some comfort in practicing.
Learn to deal differences of opinion amicably
Dealing with differences of opinion and minimizing argument is something every newlywed need to master in the initial stages itself. The pattern you used before your marriage to win over arguments and to establish your rights will not work to your favor after your marriage. Learn to avoid emotional talk to prove your point and arguing to counter a point put forward by your spouse. Raising your voice to subdue or boss over your partner will lead to immediate heart burn.
Remember the ground rule
Remember the ground rule both of you are right and both of you are wrong. Learn to remain assertive when you communicate, never allow frustrations to envelop you if your point is not heard or accepted. Never try to settle an issue as it arises without trying to understand the reason behind its cropping up. Discuss any important issue calmly by listening to your partner without interruption and do not raise your voice when you plan to reply. Discussing a debatable point without raising the voice will make your wife/husband to give a second thinking to your argument without negating it out-rightly.
Never allow an issue to simmer for long
Learn to give or take time to discuss a bothering issue, but, never allow an issue to get closed without the knowledge of your spouse. Lastly, remember your life will be dull and monotonous if you don’t have conflicts, difference of your opinions and even arguments with your spouse. But learn to iron out every conflict, every argument, every difference of opinion without a trace of guilt, even if it requires to CHANGE OR SHUN YOUR PRIORITIES o enjoy the bliss of your married life.