Never Show Haste in Choosing Your Life Partner from the Matrimonial Web sites

MatrimonysiteDuring one of the KM Matrimony organized event we met a group marriage aspirants who came to register for our services. The educated group sought our advices in maintaining the privacy of their profiles and using the website www.kmmatrimony.com for their life-partner search.

As a matrimonial portal KM Matrimony takes all the precautions to protect the privacy of the users by displaying only the contact name, contact number and the city of living of its users. It also has installed adequate security features to find and look at any distrustful activity at the website and block such attempts. We advice the users to remain cautious and exercise precautions while interacting with the other profile seekers whom you do not know before. The advice is more applicable to users who want to take the first decision before involving their parent or guardian.

Initial stage

  • While we advice you to allow others to see your profile photo for increased visibility we request you to exercise more caution when you respond to such express interest messages.
  • Always take time to back check the profile of such requests and respond only when you are convinced and interested in his/her profile. If you are convinced about the profile and do not want to respond to further requests you may block the member.
  • Never share any of your personal information and other interests during the initial stage
  • Take care and do not give away your address details
  • Exercise caution in sharing your employment details and do not give away your financial details
  • Think twice and share your family details only if you are convinced
  • Always keep your parent/guardian posted of the developments and take their advice.

Meeting the prospective bride or groom in person

It has become a practice for marriage aspirants who are convinced about the initial stage to move to the next stage of meeting the prospective bride or groom in person without the presence of others. While you agree to such an arrangement please ensure the following.

  • Keep your parent/guardian informed about such meeting including the place and time of meeting and seek their guidance
  • If you are a bride it is always advisable for you to have the first meeting at your home
  • If you plan to meet outside your house always make sure to meet in a public place or a place that is not an isolated one
  • Keep your mobile phone in ready to use condition to manage any exigencies
  • Do not hesitate to leave the place if you find anything fishy

Blocking and Reporting the abusers

  • You can block any user whom you do not find comfortable to interact with
  • Never encourage profile seekers who ask donations
  • Always listen to your gut feelings to identify the fraudsters and to discourage their moves

Finally do not hesitate to report any such unwanted incidents and details of such suspicious profiles to KM Matrimony to block such profiles and initiate legal action.

Kalyanamalai USA Tour – A Brief Intro

USA

The Kalyanamalai SUN TV program is regularly viewed by the Tamil Diaspora living all over the world. The program has helped thousands of alliance seekers to get married and settle in their life happily. Though the Kalyanamalai SUN TV shooting program (Varan Arimugam and Pattimandram) was earlier conducted in countries such as Singapore, Malaysia and the UAE, for the first time it was arranged in six cities in the USA.

When Kalyanamalai conveyed the idea to organize its Kalyanamalai SUN TV shooting programs in the USA, a number of Tamil Sangams/Associations spontaneously expressed their willingness to organize the program. In order to reach out the maximum number of Tamil population living in the USA, the places such as New York, Connecticut, New Jersey, San José, Dallas and Houston were selected as venues. The America Tamil Sangam, Connecticut Tamil Sangam, New Jersey Tamil Sangam, Kalalaya California & Bharati Tamil Sangam, Metroplex Tamil Sangam and Sri Govindan Somaskanthan represented the respective places to organize the program.

Two specialist pattimandram teams, one led by Saloman Pappiah, with Pattimandram Raja and Bharathi Bhaskar and another led by Bakkiyaraj with Pandiyarajan and Sumathi were chosen to thrill the USA audience. Local talents from the respective places were identified, trained and encouraged to participate as other speakers in the program. It is worthwhile to mention here that a number of present day pattimandram speakers were identified by Kalyanamalai, given training and continuously encouraged to excel.

The participating Tamil associations and sangams in various states, had arranged the halls at strategic locations to conduct the program and took responsibility to arrange the other essentials to organize the shooting. Regular promotional mails were sent to other associations in the USA about the program to encourage more participation of bride or groom seekers in the Varan Arimugam program of Kalyanamalai Mohan.

All the Kalyanamalai members residing at the USA were reached and explained about the benefit of participating in the alliance introduction program. The parents of such alliance seekers living in India were contacted and appraised of the advantages to encourage the participation of their son or daughter in the program. Such information promotion activities enabled more number of alliance seekers in the USA to take part in the Varan Arimugam program.

For the members, who have shown interest to take part, call letters were issued in advance to enable easy participation from the places of their interest. For assistance Kalyanamalai members were encouraged to give their phone number. The Kalyanamalai staff posted at the specially arranged call center in Chennai called back such members to clarify doubts and to provide details.

The Kalyanamalai team, led by Thiru Kalyanamalai Mohan and Thirumathi Meera Nagarajan, commenced its first leg of the tour with an arranged Matrimonial Meet at Washington DC on 13th October. On the east coast of the USA the program was arranged at New York on 18th October, Connecticut on 19th October and New Jersey on 20th October. The team continued its west coast tour with programs arranged at San Jose, California on 25th October, Dallas, Texas on 26th October and concluded its tour with the program at Houston, Texas on 27th October.

Kalyanamalai extends its whole-hearted thanks to Tamil Sangams and Associations in New York, Connecticut, New Jersey, San Jose, Dallas and Houston and other parts of the USA for making this trip a success. We look forward to have the pleasant experience of serving the Tamil diaspora living in various parts of the USA again.

Go Beyond the Good Looks & Horoscope Matching of Your Would be Life Partner

So, you are ready to get married. Remember, you are deciding on your life-long commitment that will determine the rest of your life. Therefore take a few more steps to go beyond the good looks of your would be partner, horoscope match and the shared interests. Try to look for the following essential qualities in him/her. This will be universally applicable to every marriage aspirant other than those who are blind in love and cannot look beyond it.

Right Family Background

A marriage, more than bringing two individuals together, also creates a lifelong relationship between two families. For a long committed marriage, such relationship should be good enough to nurture and grow. In strengthening such a relationship tradition, culture, religion and life values play an important role. The other factors that also play a significant role include food habits, life style, religious beliefs and others. It is always advisable to choose your life partner with a typical background of yours.

Level of Maturity

Here we discuss the mental maturity of a person to shoulder and manage the family after the marriage. He/she should be mentally prepared and ready to right decisions when required. The level of intellectual maturity also need to be complimented by emotional and physical compatibility for the success of a marriage. Try to gauge the mental maturity of your would be partner before nodding your head for the marriage.

Sense of Humor

It is a proven fact that a person with a sense of humor survives the marriage life better than a person without it. A person with a sense of humor will know the art of motivating the partner in the days of crises. He/she can break-the-ice in any harder situation to keep the marriage intact. Above all the infectious sense of humor will keep the couple stay together even during problematic situations.

Financial Preparedness

Unlike the earlier days where the husband remained the sole breadwinner for the family, presently both the husband and the wife earn for the family. The rising prices, and the changing living conditions demands it. A steady income and adequate bank balance is needed to start the new family and to provide lean-back support in case one of the partner looses his/her job. When both the partners contribute to the family kitty, it becomes essential to know the spending habits of the would be partner. It is also wise to discuss on spending for the family, saving, and dealing with individual bank accounts.

Few Others

Personal hygiene, respect to others, mutual trust, comfortable communication are few more aspects that needs clarity.

Learn to be assertive in taking a decision about your future life partner because it is one decision that can make or mar your life ambitions.

 

Have Sense of Humor for a Healthy Marriage Life

A person with a good sense of humor will always be the most sought after person in a group and he/she can befriend anyone with ease. A recent survey indicates that most of those waiting for a marriage preferred an intelligent humorous partner to a beautiful partner. It is a proven fact that those who enjoy a sense of humor, will always have high tolerance levels and enjoy their life as it comes without stress. It is a bliss to have a life-partner blessed with a sense of humor.

Sense of humor increases intimacy

The reason quoted by most of the current day couples who seek divorce is dull and draggy relationship with their partner. In other words they lead a marriage life that is devoid of any fun. On the contrary,a person with a sense of humor will tolerate unfavorable conditions better than a normal person and use his/her sense of humor to defuse the situation and bring normalcy with the partner. His/her infectious sense of humor will always make them to stay closer to their life partner.

Breaks the harder situations

A marriage life without arguments and counter arguments is also not a healthy sign. Such a marriage will tend to stagnate at one stage making one partner as dominant and the other is dormant. But excess of argument also will lead to unpleasantness and brings a stalemate at one stage. A partner with a sense of humor can easily defuse the situation without allowing it simmer and surface again. They can break the ice and make any unpleasant moment livelier.

Keeps the marriage lively and young

It is a universally known fact that sense of humor blesses one with a healthy mind and body. A life partner with a sense of humor will always keep the other engaged with regular fun talk and keep them involved. Such a sense of humor normally keeps the couple together, increases the trust between them, helps them to run the life devoid of boredom and stress, thus keep them young mentally and physically.

 Motivates to move ahead in life

Couple with a sense of humor will never feel stressed and will be blessed with a free unclogged mind. The free mind enables them to indulge in self-motivation without stress and stay ahead in life.

It must be noted that sense of humor is an inborn quality and it can also be acquired with a sincere approach to life and practice. Sudden embracing of it and practicing it for the sake of situation will not bring the desired results.

Practice to stay humorous and stay happily in life.

 

Always Register your Marriage to Avoid Future Complications

Recently Indian parliament has passed a bill to make registration of marriages mandatory for all the religions. The Registration of Births and Deaths Act, 1969, makes the registration compulsory under the same act. The amendment bill introduced in 2012 has made it compulsory to register all the marriages irrespective of caste and religion. It also has included all types of re-marriages within its purview. The law does not require the marriages registered under various state laws to get registered again.

Procedures in registering a marriage

Though various Indian states have implemented different registration rules, most of such rules are confined to the following three broad categories. 

Registration of Hindu Marriages

The act allows registration of marriages solemnized under Hindu religious customs as well as non-customary marriages. The act covers Hindu, Buddhist and Sikh religions. To get the marriage registered the groom and the bride should have completed 21 and 18 years respectively. The marriage can be registered in any of the registering office that is close to the bride’s residence, groom’s residence or the marriage hall or the temple, where the marriage actually took place. 

Along with the application for registration a) proof for the marriage (wedding invitation/temple marriage receipt/ or any other proof for completing the marriage) b) Residential proof for bride and groom (employee ID card/ration card/driving license/passport or visa) and c) age proof (birth certificate/school or college certificate or passport/visa) d) four passport size photo graph of bride and e) four passport size photograph of the groom need to be enclosed. After paying the required fee for registration the marriage is registered  after signed by two witnesses and the certificate is issued on the same day.

Registration of marriage under the state law

Under this act marriages solemnized under any of the personal law can be registered. While the proof of marriage, residential proof, age of marriage and the number of witnesses remains same as the Hindu Marriages, the marriage can be registered without fine up to 90 days and up to 150 days with fine and cannot be registered afterward.

Registration of Special Marriages

The special marriages are normally solemnized before the Registering officer. Only the groom and bride who have completed 21 and 18 years of age are allowed to get married under the act. Either the residence of the bride or groom should fall within the jurisdiction of the registering officer. The residential and age proof of the bride and groom are to be submitted to the officer along with the application to marry.

The marriage is registered only on completion of 30 days from the date of the application submitted by both the bride and the groom. Along with the age and residential proofs two passport photos of both the bride and the groom need to be provided. The names of the applicants will be displayed in the registrar office to receive objections if any in writing for the conducting of such marriage. The marriage is not performed in case of valid objections. If no objection is received the marriage is allowed to take place on the 31st day in front of the marriage registrar and signed by two witnesses. The marriage certificate is issued later on.

Marriage certificate

Since the marriage registration certificate is considered as a most valid document for a number of purposes care should be taken to register the name of the bride and groom correctly. It is advisable to have the same name and spelling as available in the passport in the marriage certificate to avoid any future complications in the issuance of long-term residential visa. The certificate becomes a very important legal document in unfortunate circumstances such as divorce or one of the couple predeceased the other. It is always advisable to apply and receive sufficient number of certificates for future use.

Learn to Adjust to the Minor Imperfections of Your would be Life Partner for a Perfect Married Life

Learn-to-AdjustFew weeks back I met one of my old school mates in a marriage after a long time. Our families got introduced to each other. On my invitation he came to my house for an evening tea. During the course of our discussion, he talked about his son whose marriage is getting delayed for reasons unknown to him. Being employed in a famous matrimonial company, I volunteered to discuss the issue with his son, to assist his early marriage.

Next time, when I went to his house with my wife I met his son and got introduced to him. After some time our topic of discussion zeroed on his marriage. Though, he was reluctant to discuss it in the beginning, ultimately he opened up for a free discussion.

He said he was looking for a perfect match, who will have beauty, education, same wavelength of thinking, intelligence and above all a passion to care for him. He added, that he had seen around 10 prospective alliances and no one could ever come close to his expectations.

His answer really saddened me, because, I know the hard truth that he will never get married any time, unless someone explains to him the hard realities of life. I remembered his age as thirty and looked at him again. For thirty years of age, he looked little over weight, his hairline was thinning and receding at the top, his puffy cheeks conveyed his regular participation in the week end office parties and the black lines below his eyes revealed his stressed type of work.

It is a sad fact that an increasing number of eligible grooms develop such an illusion about their would be wife and waste their time in trying to find her. In the process, they loose their precious marriageable years. They must realize that no one had ever found a life partner matching 100% of their expectations. They completely forget the fact that in real life, the girl whom he fancy as his perfect partner may also have her own ideas and may even refuse to marry him. At one stage, such young men may find difficult to get even normal matches and repent.

I had advised my friend’s son to understand the realities of life and explained to him how it will be difficult for him to find a partner who matches 100% of his expectations. In order to make my advice simple and comprehensible I had cited his own father’s life as an example. His father in spite of being a gold medalist in B.Tech. degree from a most renowned institution had only married a school finalist and not so beautiful lady from a middle class family as his wife, yet, he has succeeded in his life reaching the zenith of his career.

I further explained to him that a married life will become more thrilling only when the partners learn to adjust with the inadequacies of the other, and start appreciating the best qualities in him/her. Though , he did not readily agreed to my suggestions, I know pretty well he will start dwell over it and change his ideas about his would be wife.

Divorce – Don’t consider it as a practical solution for trivial misunderstandings

Some days back a husband and wife came to Kalyanamalai office to register the profile of their second daughter for marriage. After registering the profile, they requested us to get her a suitable match from a small family and not from big a joint family. The mother explained that they married their 1st daughter to a groom from a joint family and she is not happily living and don’t want their second daughter to suffer the similar fate. The father voluntarily further explained the present status of their first daughter as below.

Ours is a small and very closely knitted family consisting of my wife and two daughters. Though, my first daughter, after completing her B.E. Computer science, wanted to join an employment, I got her married to a good alliance that came in our way.  She was married into a little bigger family consisting of three brothers and a daughter. Though my son-in-law was well qualified, he did not opt for any outside employment and engaged in a family business along with his father and two brothers.  None of the brothers including my son-in-law had no separate income of their own. It was only the joint family income used by every one. The mother-in-law managed the expenses of the family.

Since, the house had enough servants, my daughter was never burdened with work and every one treated my daughter with respect and affection. But my daughter was not happy because her father-in-law do not want her to go for an employment. Her husband, while did not support her request also got angry when she hinted her desire to go separately to have a life of their own.

He further said, now my daughter is mentally stressed and she wanted to have a free life of her own, even if it is going to cost her married life. While continuing on the topic the mental agony and pain suffered by the parents was very much visible in their faces and explicit in their words.

of late we come across more such parents especially those who marry their daughters in a joint family. Such parents instead of toeing their daughter must learn to play a very positive role in correcting and shaping the thought process of their daughter. They must explain her that it will take at least a year or two for anyone to get adjusted to a joint family environment, especially to those who were brought up in an independent environment. Under such circumstances, once she learns to get adjusted, it will go a long way in shaping her own family after the marriage of all the brothers. They can further tell her to stay patient and divert her energy into more positive ways. One such way is to subtly let her intention to her in-laws to help in the family business by sharing the business work. Such a volunteering act though may meet some initial resistance, but will ultimately become practical and further will help her to be with her husband at the office and spend her time productively helping her family.

It is a sad fact that the present day couple seeks divorce even for the most trivial reasons as immediate redress. Some of those reasons they assume as bothering them may not lost long all through their life. The couple who seek divorce should remember that no divorce is possible without valid reasons and proof. Except the rarest of rare cases the divorce is given only after a fixed period of time. No judiciary will entertain such hastily filed of divorce applications.

We have a piece of advice for such couples. We request them to develop faith in themselves and their life. We suggest them to seek the help of their close friends or relatives before venturing any such life impacting decision. In most of the cases wise counseling by a psychiatrist will come handy to analyze and understand the correctness of their decisions.

Above you all you need enough patience and belief within yourselves that things will go smoothly. Try that and it will be more worthier than trying for a divorce.

Managing loneliness after marriage

Managing_lonelinessEducation has helped most of the women to join an employment and contribute to the family kitty. A majority of them continue to be employed after the marriage to have some financial cushion to manage the expenses. In some of the cases when they marry some one employed in a different city or country, they leave their employment to join their husband. The marriage, starting and managing a family of their own thrills most of them and they start dream about it.

In reality the bride who joins her husband at a different city or country after her marriage will not be very comfortable. She will feel the boredom and loneliness, when her husband leaves for his employment after the short vacation. She will feel like a fish out of water, when she starts living among the unknown faces. But following the following diversified steps will help them to overcome their lonely stress.

Start reading the local paper

Reading local news paper will help you learn most of the things that happen locally and it will also help you to know the local market trends.

Go for a walking

Make it a practice to go for a walk in the morning as well as in the evening depending on the weather conditions. It will help you to meet unknown people and get their friendship.

Participate in local happenings

If you are living in a housing colony try to go around to get acquainted with surroundings.Voluntarily make friendship with the other people living in the colony, Also take part in the celebrations that take place in colony.

Share with your neighbors

If you are expert in cookery share your preparations with your neighbors.

Teach the young  children

You may also take tuition classes for the children. Such an attempt will help you to get the friendship of their parents and in turn more people.

Arrange a small party

You can also arrange a small party and invite the colony people or neighbors.

Learn the local language

Learn the local language with interest and your interactions with your neighbors in local language will help you get more friends.

Join some short-term courses and hobby classes

Your joining short-term courses while gives you the much-needed diversification will also help you to acquire more qualification. Similarly some of the hobbies may also help you to earn money while allowing you to use your spare time usefully.

Be in touch with your old friends

Never loose contact with your old friends at your native place. Remaining in regular contact with them will help you to share the information and will help you to understand the well-being of your parents if they live there.

Matrimonial Websites are Different from Online Dating, Friendship and Relationship Websites

In a recent KM Matrimony arranged matrimonial community meet held in Chennai, we met an NRI parent,  who had been living in the USA for a several years. He wanted to know the difference between an online matrimonial website and an online friendship, dating or a relationship website. He argued that ultimately all the websites always end in the process of creating a relationship between a man and a woman. Though, superficially his argument about creating relationship appears to be okay,  there is a vast difference between a matrimonial website and the other dating type of web sites.

Dating websites do not lead to marriages

Dating, friendship and relationship websites have come very recently in India. Though, such websites appears to help those who want to fall in love with a chosen someone, understand the other perfectly before marrying, in actual practice they do not. Most of the tech savvy people especially men, who register on such websites, use the website for getting acquainted with a like-minded  opposite sex, and do not consider marriage as an end goal.

It is always seen that only  those, who lack self-confidence about getting married,  normally register in such friendship or dating websites. It is a fact that such registrants who are uncertain about their own marriage will never stay serious or commit to marry any one whom they meet on such websites. In fact, they will not hesitate to use even the flimsiest chance that comes in their way to flirt or have some fun.

The advantages of matrimonial websites

Unlike a dating or friendship website the users of a matrimonial website register in the website with a sole purpose of getting married. The people who use matrimonial websites are more committed in life than those who use dating or friendship websites.

In fact, a reputed  online matrimonial website like KM Matrimony, will  offer its users an opportunity to select someone with the same turn of mind, exchange online information, make personal talk before choosing him/her as her/his life partner. The user can easily find those fake users and those without any frame of mind for the marriage to isolate or avoid from reaching.

Most  of the registered matrimonial profiles, though managed by the individual registrants, also involve parents, guardians and friends in making the final decision about a marriage.

Tips for the Working Couple for a successful Married life

Working-CoupleEducation has empowered a woman to seek employment and the present economic conditions requires her to contribute to the running of the family. Unlike the women of yesteryear, who chose to stay at home after the marriage to manage  the household work and the family members, the women of today opt to continue their employment. She wants her job to share the expenses to manage the family and to have a monetary cushion in running the family.

Often a woman who manages both her employment and the family feel stressed due to the increased work load. In the process, she also don’t want to be dependent on her husband and seek to be independent in managing the household expenses. Most of the husbands continues to consider it as wrong and such an action contributes to ego clashes between the couple leading to family conflicts.

It is essential to understand and uphold the values of marriage to enable the marriage-life running smoothly. Both the husband and the wife need to understand that timely compromise, understanding and sacrifices for the sake of others will add value to their marriage life and strengthen the bondage between them.

The following simple tips if taken in proper perspective will enable the couple to have a blessed married life

Tips for the wife

  • Try to have a clear understanding between your office role and family role. Never carry the tensions of the office to the house or the problems of the house to the office. Learn to set aside them at the appropriate places only.
  • Do not insist on your husband to listen to all your informal conversations also known as office gossips if he doesn’t show curiosity for it.
  • Stay clear from promoting or praising your office male colleagues or your boss more than necessary. As a male he may feel envious and may even distrust you.
  • Never feel supercharged about your independence or individuality especially before your husband.
  • At no time give a picture to your husband that you never depend on him and your husband has no justification to suggest or correct you.
  • Don’t be spendthrift just because you remain employed and earning
  • Never have conflicts over trivial issues and complicate your life.
  • Lastly, discuss about the raising of the family with your husband. Since it is a touchy subject,  weigh your career options before taking a final decision.

Tips for the Husband

  • Always try to share the household work with your wife if she is working.
  • Leave the decision of joining or leaving a work to your wife. You may suggest her your views, but let the final decision be hers.
  • Understand that having a working wife is always a bliss to the family to improve the living conditions and to have increased money flow.
  • Never suspect her fidelity  and her official talking with her boss or colleague.
  • Never try to go with her to her office picnics or parties suspecting her character.

A simple give and take policy by the husband and wife will avoid much of the conflict and enable running the family smoothly.

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